I used to look forward to the day when TAYLOR SWIFT would grow up and write songs about, well, anything other than her ex-boyfriends. But now I just want her to STOP taking herself so damn seriously.
--She's on the cover of the April edition of "Vanity Fair" . . . and she spends most of the interview defending who she "really" is and what she "really" stands for . . . while ALSO trying to set the record straight about her love life.
--For example, Taylor insists her dating conquests are over-exaggerated. She said, quote, "If you want some big revelation, since 2010 I have dated exactly two people.
--"The fact that there are slide shows of a dozen guys that I either hugged on a red carpet or met for lunch or wrote a song with . . . it's just kind of ridiculous. It's why I have to avoid the tabloid part of our culture, because they turn you into a fictional character."
--As everyone on the planet knows, those two "people since 2010" are CONOR KENNEDY, who was "awesome" . . . and HARRY STYLES who wasn't.
--The light went on about Harry when she realized that he "was looking at every girl." And the relationship finally ended when he "Disappeared one night."
(--Of course he did. He's a 19-year-old kid with endless amounts of tail chasing him around the planet. What did she expect?)
--Anyway . . . now HERE'S an example of Taylor taking herself way too seriously. She was asked if she's boy crazy, which is a bush league question that she should have laughed off, but she took the bait and went on a self-righteous rant.
--She said, quote, "For a female to write about her feelings, and then be portrayed as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making you marry her and have kids with her, I think that's taking something that potentially should be celebrated.
--"A woman writing about her feelings in a confessional way . . . that's taking it and turning it and twisting it into something that is frankly a little sexist."
--And then, when the subject turned to TINY FEY and AMY POEHLER telling a joke about her at the Golden Globes, she quoted some advice she got from KATIE COURIC.
--Taylor said, quote, "You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people. Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, 'There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.'"
(--Here's video of Tina and Amy telling the joke at the Golden Globes. It starts at the 0:39 mark.)
--Okay, now here comes the part where Taylor gets schooled. "The Hollywood Reporter" asked Amy Poehler for her take on Taylor's comment in "Vanity Fair" . . . and Amy gave the perfect response.
--She said, quote, "Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. "
(--And THAT is how you handle someone's attempt at a slam. Taylor, learn from a pro like Amy Poehler. ROLL WITH every joke someone makes at your expense. Agree that it's funny . . . and top it with another joke about yourself.)